The Scars of Love
by nalaa
Summary: He'd hurt her and she'd hurt him, they'd hurted each other. Yet, the last blow he'd delivered made her pack her bags and leave New York. It's been two years and she's ready to come back. [AU]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Welcome to my new AU Newsroom World! I hope you like it :)

* * *

When she opened her apartment's door a lot of memories that she thought were forgotten flew back to her mind: it had been more than two years since she had last set her feet between those walls. She looked around and sighed deeply. Yes, she was home once again. London was great, she had her family and some friends there, but New York was home, even after _the thing that happened that nobody dared to mention around her_, as her friend Sloan liked to call her wedding fiasco.

After the man she loved stood her up on her wedding day, Mackenzie resigned, packed her bags and moved to London, needing her family to be close during those hard months afterwards. Everybody knew they were getting married, her ex-fiancé being a famous anchorman, the announcement was published in a few magazines, they even endured a couple of photo shoots for TMI and gave the money earned to charity. So, when the day came and he didn't appear, all gossip magazines covered the news.

But she was back in town, determined to not let the past mess up her future. She knew she was bound to bump into him: New York was a big city but, being both in the same business, they were doomed to see each other again.

She looked around her old apartment, the one she hadn't had the heart to sell, and sighed again. Everything was in boxes and scattered all over her living room. She had hired some movers to remove her things from storage and bring them back but it would be her job to put everything in its place again.

"Well, I have a month." She said out loud.

She had received numerous job offers prior to her return to the States, even Charlie had called begging her to come back to ACN but she couldn't do it. Instead, she accepted the one-year contract that CNN had offered her to do a daily segment about international news on primetime and to occasionally contribute in their panels. She wanted to continue writing her weekly column at The Guardian too so she knew she was about to become a very busy girl.

Her Blackberry beeped while she was hanging her clothes in the closet. She went to grab it and smiled when she saw a text from Sloan asking where the hell she was. She quickly dialed her friend's number and waited for her to answer.

"_Hey, stranger._" Sloan greeted her. "_Are you home?_"

"I am." Mac replied. "Got here an hour ago. I'm trying to make some sense into the mess I have in my living room."

"_Take a break to see your friend. I'm at the Starbucks on the corner. I'll order you a latte._"

"I'll be there in five."

She hung up and put the phone in her jeans' back pocket before grabbing her jacket and purse and leaving the apartment. She walked to the coffee shop and quickly got inside. She immediately saw Sloan and smiled widely at her. While she was walking towards her friend, Sloan got up and, for a few seconds, Mac stopped, astonished and amazed at the same time. She knew her friend was pregnant, she had seen her through Skype and in some pictures, but seeing her 8 months pregnant belly for the first time 'live' shocked her.

"Look at you!" Mac squealed, hugging her. "You're about to pop!"

"Shut up." Sloan murmured without releasing her friend from the tight embrace. "I missed you." She told her once she freed her. "Don't you ever leave again, Kenzie, or I swear I'll kill you."

"I missed you too." Mac sincerely said, helping Sloan sit back down on her chair and taking the one next to her. "You look absolutely radiant, my friend. Pregnancy suits you."

"Well, now that you're here, I'm ready for it to be over."

"I came back for you." She told Sloan, grinning.

"You came back to work at CNN."

"True, but I got here a month early because you asked me." Mac reminded her.

"Also true."

"Tell me everything." Mac asked her.

"We talk once a week, Kenzie, we Skyped three days ago. There's nothing new to tell." Sloan told her, smiling. She had some news but she wasn't sure if Mac would want to know them.

"Really?" Mac replied, disappointed.

"Well, Don and I finally agreed on a name." Sloan told her, keeping the other news to herself for the time being. Mac looked at her, expectantly, and after a few seconds in silence, Sloan put her friend out of her misery and told her. "Kathryn Ann Keefer."

"Ooh! I love it!" Mac exclaimed. "Your Mum will be pleased."

"I'll surprise her once this little kicker is born." Sloan said, pointing to her expanded middle.

"Does she kick a lot?"

"Give me your hand." She grabbed Mac's hand and placed it on the side of her abdomen. The baby kicked and while Sloan groaned, Mackenzie squealed in delight. When both their sights met, Sloan noticed her friend's moistly eyes. "Hey." She told her, squeezing her hand.

"I'm so happy for you, Sloan." Mac said, the emotions she was feeling showing in her voice.

"I know, honey." Sloan reassured her. "You never wanted children but you're changing your mind, right?" She guessed. Mac didn't answer, she only nodded. "Soon, you'll find your perfect prince charming and you'll get married and you'll have a bunch of kids." She continued. "Until then, you'll be Auntie Kenzie and you'll spoil your goddaughter rotten."

"I have Mark." Mac reminded Sloan.

"I said prince charming, Kenzie. Mark is nothing more than your fuckbuddy and don't try to deny it." Sloan said before Mac could interrupt her. "He's gorgeous and charismatic and wealthy and fucking perfect but you don't love him and he doesn't love you either. You two went out and had a good time, you went home and had an even greater time between the sheets."

"Or against the wall." Mac chipped in. "Sofa, kitchen counter, dinner table, desk, shower, bathtub, jacuzzi..." She continued until Sloan shut her up with her hand. Mac bursted out laughing and Sloan quickly joined her.

"Very nice, making a pregnant woman jealous." Sloan told her, grinning. She was glad to see her friend laughing again. "After the thing that happened, you needed something easy and you've been enjoying it but Mac, it's been more than two years, maybe you should -"

"No." Mac firmly said. Was Sloan really suggesting that she had to forgive him? Again?

"Look, just listen to me, ok?"

"What?" She said starting to feel a bit angry.

"I work with the guy, Mackenzie, I see him every single day. He hasn't been himself since the day you left, you saw what happened at Northwestern six months ago." Mac simply nodded. "He hasn't had a serious relationship in two years. He watched BBC everyday to see your segments, he reads you column, he asks me about you once a week. He's still in love with you."

"I don't care."

"Are you really gonna tell me you don't feel something for him too?" Sloan asked, her eyebrow raised, and looking at her skeptically.

"Our relationship didn't begin the best way, Sloan, and you know it. He was still seeing Nina fucking Howard when we started dating. When I found out, with me being hurt and all that crap, I forgot the little common sense left that I slept with Brian. I felt guilty and I confessed everything. But we loved each other, right? So we spent months and too much money in couple's therapy and then I thought: Well, we're lucky enough that we've been able to leave all this behind and start again, we're in love and true love always wins. He proposed, I accepted. We planned our wedding and everything was going smoothly. Then, when it came to the crunch he left me alone, on my fucking wedding day, Sloan!" Mac exclaimed at the end, a bit too loud for Sloan's taste.

"Hey, I know, honey, I know." Sloan whispered trying to calm her down while she reached for her hand to squeeze it in reassurance. "But you still love him and you can't avoid him forever."

"I can try." Mac shyly replied. "Does he know I'm back?"

"He knows, Charlie told him."

"Fuck." Mac said under her breath.

"Someone would have told him eventually, Kenzie." Sloan reminded her.

"Well, a girl can dream." Mac told her friend, slightly smiling.

"What are you gonna do?"

"Right now? I'll finish this coffee and go home to unpack." Mac replied knowing it wasn't what Sloan wanted to hear.

"And tomorrow?"

"I'll start looking for an assistant. Everything's a fucking mess and I need someone to help me sort it out."

"Good luck with that." Sloan teased her. "Wanna come to dinner next Saturday? Don's eager to see you."

"I'd love to."

As Mac grabbed her almost cold coffee to take a sip, she looked around and then set her eyes on her friend. _Yeah, it's great to be home_, she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

The first time he saw her he stopped dead in his tracks, the person walking behind him on the street bumping directly into him. He didn't say a thing, he didn't apologize, his sight was fixed on her. She was across the street, outside a coffee shop, talking animatedly on her phone and with a cigarette between her fingers. He smiled. They both had stopped smoking at the same time, it had been a joint effort to be healthier, but once they'd broken up, he had started again. It didn't surprise him at all to see that she had returned to that particular bad habit too.

He casually positioned himself behind a tree so he could observe her without being noticed. She looked good: a little thinner than the last time he had seen her face to face, her hair cut short once again (he knew she had kept it long because he liked it that way), wearing jeans, high heeled boots and a black leather jacket.

He was aware that she was back but actually seeing her, so close and yet so far, turned his stomach upside down. He missed her; he had been missing her for the last two years, since the day he had made the stupidest mistake of his life. He had tried to contact her numerous times, he had called and sent emails and text messages but she hadn't returned any of them, and he couldn't blame her. Time, alcohol and a little bit of therapy had helped him realize what had gone wrong, why, at the last minute, he had abandoned her: fear, pure unadulterated fear.

Watching her, calmly smoking her cigarette, he debated whether to approach her or not. Would she talk to him or would she simply slap him across the face and leave? Everybody had told him that she didn't want to see him. He understood that, even if it hurt him deeply. He wanted to talk to her, to explain himself, he wanted to ask for forgiveness, he wanted to hear her voice again without having to listen to it through a TV screen. He wanted to be able to touch her, to kiss her. He wanted to see her without feeling like an stalker, hiding behind a tree.

He made his mind, decided to cross the street and say hi. He stepped out of his hiding spot and was about to take the first step towards his goal when he saw Charlie leaving the café and joining her on the street. He remained still, observing their interaction. Charlie told her something that made her burst out laughing. He laughed along while he gave her purse back (she must had left it inside). His mind wandered for a moment but it quickly returned to the scene playing in front of him when he heard her yell a mildly annoyed _Charlie!_. He had to keep down his laugher when he realized that Charlie had stolen her cigarette directly from her mouth and had stubbed it out with his foot.

Resigned, he looked at them one last time before reassuming his way.

"Well, maybe next time." He said to himself.

* * *

He had to wait six weeks for the '_next time'_.

ACN had received an invitation to someone's retirement party and it seemed that _someone_ was a very important person so Charlie had made him go. He had been sitting at their assigned table, casually chatting with Charlie, Leona and their respective spouses, when he saw her walking across the room wearing a gorgeous plum dress that made all men turn to look at her. He stopped paying attention to the conversation going on at his table and fixed his eyes on her. She looked absolutely stunning: the strapless bodice of the dress fit her like a glove, the split on the floor-length skirt showed her long perfect legs whenever she took a step, the high-heeled silver shoes she was wearing made him lose whatever he had left of his mind and common sense.

He wanted to talk to her. He HAD to talk to her.

He pushed his chair back and went to stand when a hand grabbed the sleeve of his tux and prevented him from getting up. He looked at the owner of the hand, annoyed and determined to get free.

Martha Skinner, without letting his arm go, sent him a powerful glare. "Don't." She muttered.

"What?" He whispered back, feigning innocence. Martha didn't reply.

They stared at each other for a few seconds until Charlie, once Leona and her husband turned their attention somewhere else, noticed their staring contest and decided to intervene. "What's going on with you two?" He asked them, curious.

"Mackenzie's here." Martha explained to her husband.

"What the fuck?" Charlie exclaimed, turning around to inspect the room. He quickly spotted her and turned back to look at Will. "I didn't know she would be here tonight."

"I just wanted to say hi." Will told them, slumping back on his chair, defeated.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Charlie asked him.

"Maybe?" Will replied.

"May I give you some advice?" Martha said and Will nodded. "This is a party and people talk to each other at parties. People casually bump into each other at parties, if you know what I mean. Wait until dinner is over, then go talk to some people and work your way until you casually come across her. She might be more willing to exchange a few words with you if she doesn't feel like you chased her down."

He followed Martha's advice. Once they'd finished eating and people began to mingle, he stood up and did the same, always keeping an eye on Mackenzie. He went around the room, exchanging a few words with some people while trying to get closer to her. Every time he thought he would be able to talk to her, she changed directions and walked away from him. Did she know he was there? Was she really avoiding him or was it just the universe conspiring against him?

He tried a few more times, with no success, before he decided to call it a night. But then, when he was looking for Charlie and Martha to say goodnight, he saw her talking to them. He stood still, waiting for the right moment to approach them. He used the time to admire her, taking advantage of the opportunity to fully look at her while she wasn't aware of it. He saw her laughing at something that Martha had said, he saw her gently hugging them in goodbye. Then, she turned around and his world stopped.

Their eyes met. He could see the shock and the fear in her eyes; he hoped she would be able to see his feelings in his. She opened and closed her mouth, gaping; he shyly smiled at her. He took a step forward, ready to speak with her for the first time in two years, but she simply shook her head and walked away.

* * *

When they had gotten engaged, they had begun looking for a place to live together, a place where they could have a fresh start. After a lot of searching they found the perfect place: a wonderful penthouse overlooking Central Park. It had been a bit more expensive than they had expected but they could afford it and it truly was the place of their dreams. Mackenzie had spent most of her free time remodeling, furnishing and decorating it to their tastes. He had surprised her by building her a walk-in closet. The penthouse had been ready just in time for their wedding; they had planned to move in once they came back from their honeymoon.

But that never happened.

When they broke up and Mackenzie left, Will decided to keep the penthouse even if knew he never could live there without her. He continued living at his old apartment and only went there, from time to time, to make sure everything was still in order.

He wasn't sure what prompted him to go there that particular day: it wasn't an special occasion, it was a day like any other one.

The doorman opened the door for him with an smile. Will returned the gesture and walked to the elevator. The twenty-floor ride up felt longer than it had really been. He stepped out once the elevator reached its destination and he used his keys to open the door. He sighed deeply and, after closing the door behind him, he began checking everything. He always left the walk-in closet at the end of his rounds; he liked to sit on the carpeted floor to think. But, as it had happened only an hour before, he had a strange urge and decided to check the closet first.

He quietly opened the double door. He sight before him stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Hi, Mac."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I just wanted to give you a short update before Christmas' madness invades everything and I'm too busy/tired/(hopefully)drunk to write/post anything.

Merry Christmas!

* * *

"Hi, Mac."

The shoe she was holding fell to the carpeted floor as soon as she heard his voice behind her. Was he really there? She didn't turn around, she didn't make a sound, thinking that he might disappear if she stayed quiet and still. What the hell was he doing at the penthouse? Sloan had assured her that he only went once a month and never during workdays.

"You've been avoiding me." She heard him say, closer than she had expected. She turned around, slowly, and found him just behind her. She jumped back, startled, and Will smiled shyly at her. He bent down to pick up the shoe and gave it back to her.

"Thank you." Mac simply said. "I just came to grab my shoes. I'll leave you alone." She explained while putting the shoes in their box and closing the lid.

"These shoes have been here for the last two years." Will told her, wanting to talk to her a little bit more. "You just remembered you had left them here?" He said, pointing to the brand new Christian Louboutin shoebox she was holding with her hands.

"I knew they were here, I've just never asked for them. I needed shoes for a party I have to go next week so, instead of buying a new pair, I came to get these back." She explained to him even if she didn't have to. "Satisfied?"

_Ok, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say._ Will thought. He raised his hands in apology while he devised a plan on his head to make her stay even if it only was for a few more minutes. He wasn't quick enough because, when he opened his mouth to speak, she was already at the door.

"Have coffee with me." He said without thinking.

Mackenzie stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to look at him. "What?" She asked him, incredulous.

"Look, it's been more than two years since the last time we spoke to each other. Just ..." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Let me buy you a cup of coffee. We don't have to talk about anything relatively important. We can talk about the weather for all I care." He wasn't going to beg. He really wanted to be able to have a decent conversation with her but, if she didn't agree, he wouldn't press the subject. He knew her too well and didn't want to begin (again) on wrong foot with her.

She surprised him with a soft "Fine." that he barely heard.

Together, they left the penthouse and headed to an small café nearby. They ordered their beverages and decided to sit outside. Will stared at her, astounded with her attempts to look anywhere but at him, avoiding all eye contact. He snapped his fingers in front of her face to gain her attention. Once he got it, he offered her a cigarette. At first, she hesitated but ended taking one and lighting it up. Will got one for himself and left the pack on the table, between them.

He decided to break the ice. "How have you been?"

"Fine. Busy." She replied before drinking some of her coffee.

"How's CNN?" Will tried again.

"Great. Different from what I remembered."

"You were an AP when you worked there." He reminded her.

"Yeah."

"Look, Mac ..." He began.

"Why am I here?" She bluntly asked him.

"What?" Will replied, confused.

"What do you want from me?" Mac questioned him.

"Ok. This wasn't what I had in mind." He said without thinking about it first.

"What were you expecting? Did you really think that, once I saw you, I'd forget everything and fall right into your arms? This isn't one of your fucking musicals, Billy." She angrily said.

They stayed silent for a few minutes, taking small sips from their coffee cups and drags from their cigarettes, avoiding each other eyes. While Will prayed for her to stay, Mac debated whether to finish her drink or to just get up and go. Neither of them wanted a confrontation in public; they knew they were bound to if that particular line of conversation continued but Will's need to try to make things better between them overpowered some of his common sense.

"Will you be able to forgive me, someday?" He quietly asked her.

Mac wanted to quickly reply but stopped herself before she made that mess worse. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"Can we be friends?" He asked again before she could say anything. "I don't want to lose you again."

"Look." She told him and waited until his eyes met hers to continue. "We had our problems and we solved them, or I thought we did. Then, on what was supposed to be the one of the happiest days of our lives, something clicked on your mind and ... " She tried to find the words but she realized that, even if she was able to talk about it to other people, it hurt too much to explain it to him. "You didn't lose me, Will, you left me. I don't know if I'll be able to trust you again." She told him while getting up. Then, she grabbed her shoebox and her purse and, after thanking him for the coffee, she left.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why didn't you tell me Mackenzie was back?" Dr. Jacob Habib asked Will as soon as he set a foot in his office.

"How did you find out?" Will simply said once he sat down.

"I watch the news. She's on CNN every night." Jake replied. "How long has she been back in the city?"

"Almost three months." Will told him. "It took you that long to find out?" He tried to mock him.

"You've been skipping appointments. Now I know why."

"I've been busy."

"Don't fuck around with me, Will, we've known each other long enough."

"Right." Will said.

"Have you seen her?" Jack asked him.

"Yeah, a couple of times."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Yesterday morning. I went to the penthouse and found her there." Will explained.

"Did you go on purpose?" Jack suspiciously said. "Did you know she would be there?"

"No!" Will exclaimed. "I was as surprised to see her as she was to see me." He continued. "She was pissed. I made a joke and she got a bit angry. I just wanted to talk and she was ready to leave the moment she saw me there!"

"And what did you do?"

"I offered to buy her a cup of coffee." Will smugly replied. Jack raised his eyebrow, surprised at his admission. "She accepted but it didn't go well." Will clarified. "We began with some small talk, I asked her how had she been but she was very short with her answers. In my mind, I had pictured how our reunion would be like, you know? And it was totally the contrary."

"Did you really expect that she would fall right into your arms once she saw you again?" Jack asked him but Will didn't answer, he just sat there with his eyes closed and an expression of total regret on his face. "That's what she told you, isn't it?" He realized and his suspicions were confirmed when Will remained silent. "What do you want?" He asked, directly.

"I don't know." Will admitted.

"Yes, you do." Jack firmly told him.

"I want her to forgive me, to trust me again. I want her to be my friend again. I want to be able to talk with her for more than five minutes." Will said, even if he knew that those weren't the answers Jack wanted to hear, that those weren't the real answer. He looked at the younger man and knew he hadn't fooled him. "I want to be with her again."

* * *

Once his hour was over, Will left Habib's office feeling defeated: talking with Jack always helped but it also made him reevaluate some things that, sometimes, left him worse than he was before his appointment. He decided to take a walk back to the AWN building so he could clear his head. The lights and the decorations and the Christmas' spirit around the city drove him crazy. He had never been too fond of that particular holiday but it had been worse after Mackenzie had left. Luckily for him, he only had to endure the New Year and everything would get back to normal.

It took him a while but, once he got there, he was ready to work through the day. He took the elevator to the twenty-fourth floor and went directly to Don's office. He walked in without knocking and the sight before his eyes surprised him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. "You are on maternity leave."

"Hello to you too, William." Sloan told him, sarcastically. She hugged him and gave Will a quick peck on the cheek.

Will smiled warmly: Sloan was like an annoying little sister but he loved her dearly. Their relationship went through a rough patch for a few months: he had deeply hurt her best friend, but they managed to fix their friendship after a long talk and two bottles of expensive wine.

He never asked her about Mackenzie and she never told him anything, it was a silent agreement they had both reached after their reconciliation. But Mackenzie was back and, even if she told her numerous times, Sloan knew she still felt something for Will. If she really didn't care, she wouldn't be so cautious around the subject. And Will was still in love with her, it was pretty obvious to anyone that knew him like Sloan did. She didn't want to be too obvious but she was determined to try and fix their relationship. She loved them and she could see how miserable they were.

"Mac told me what happened yesterday." Sloan said after sitting down with her daughter in her arms. She knew Mac's version of the story and she wanted to hear Will's.

"She hates me." Will replied, taking the other chair and looking down at the floor.

"There's a fine line between love and hate." Sloan told him. "And she doesn't hate you, Will. She's hurt and, maybe, that could be a good sign."

"How can this be a good sign?" He asked, raising his eyes from the floor to look at her, surprised.

"Because she still feels something. I don't want you to get your hopes up, we both know how stubborn she can be, but you have to try. You have to take the first step, Will, you know she won't." She said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it gently.

"She couldn't talk to me for more than five minutes without getting angry."

"Well, maybe next time you'll be able to talk a minute longer. Baby steps, bro." Sloan comforted him. "I invited her to come to our party on the 31st. You'll be there so make your first move."

"Does she know I'll be there?" Will wearily asked her.

"Yes." She firmly replied.

"And she agreed to come?" He was astonished and Sloan couldn't hide her grin.

"Yes."

"Unbelievable." He murmured.

"So stop being an ass and do something."

* * *

It was New Year's Eve, Will had been at Sloan and Don apartment for nearly two hours and he was still waiting for Mackenzie to make an appearance. He was more than nervous, he was anxious, he had a plan in mind and was praying to whoever was high above everything so it would go as planned. After checking his watch for the fifth time in fifteen minutes, Sloan had given him a glass of scotch and kicked him out to the balcony. She had assured him, for more times than he would like to admit, that Mackenzie was coming to the party but he wouldn't believe it until he saw her walking in.

He lit up a cigarette and rested his forearms against the railing. He looked at the streets below him and sighed deeply. He could barely wait. He knew he would have to approach her slowly and gently and just make some small talk. Baby steps, Sloan had told him. So, when he heard her voice behind him, he turned around and everything he had planned quickly disappeared from his mind.

"I thought I'd find you out here."

Will stood there, not sure of what to do or what to say: she had surprised him. He never expected her to be the one to approach him. She also looked fucking gorgeous in her short dark blue dress and a silver bolero jacket, and that didn't help him very much either. Mackenzie walked towards him and reached for his shirt's pocket, stealing a cigarette and lighting it up before returning the packet to its rightful place. He wanted to say something but, before he could, Mac began talking.

"I want to apologize." She told him.

"What?" Will asked, even more stunned than before.

"The other day, when you found me at the penthouse?" Mac began and he nodded in understanding. "You caught me by surprise and I didn't react well. You were being kind and charming and I acted like a fucking spoiled brat. I was rude and I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Will told her. "I understand."

"Thank you." She sincerely said.

"It could have been worse." Will added and Mac wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"How?" She wearily asked.

"You could have slapped me, or thrown something directly to my head and knocked me unconscious."

It took a few seconds but, when Mac bursted out laughing, his heart filled with joy. He smiled fondly at her, it had been two years since the last time he had seen her laugh and he had truly missed it. The laughter died after a few seconds and, then, they stood there, one in front of the other, without really knowing what to do or what to say next.

Will took her hand between his own ones and looked at her eyes. "You look lovely tonight, Mackenzie."

The sound of the door being opened startled them breaking the tension in the air. Will quickly let go of her hand. They both turned around and saw Sloan walking towards them with three glasses of champagne on her hands.

"People are asking for the two of you." She told them, handing them a glass. "You've been out here long enough. Finish your cigarettes and come back inside."

Sloan didn't let them reply before she returned inside. They did as told and rejoined the party. They spent the next hour and a half mingling with the other guests. Two minutes before midnight, everyone began to prepare for the countdown: couples stood close, friends gathered together, but Will and Mac found themselves standing alone at opposite sides of the room.

The countdown started, everybody cheerfully shouting the numbers. Then, they yelled _Happy New Year!_ and all hell broke loose. While couples kissed and friends hugged, Will and Mac's eyes met.


	5. Chapter 5

Seeing Mackenzie having dinner with another man had hurt him, more than he would ever admit.

His sister Claire was in New York and they had met for dinner after his show. He had taken her to a nice expensive restaurant and he had been set out to have a nice time with her. Then, while they were waiting for their table to be ready, he had seen Mackenzie. He had tried to distract his sister but she had spotted her and had been walking towards her before he could stop her.

He knew Mackenzie liked his sister but he also noticed how uncomfortable she had been during the exchange. She had gotten up and hugged his sister, then she kissed his cheek in greeting, before she introduced her companion: Wade Something, an attorney. After a minute of polite small talk, Will and Claire had gone to their table. He tried to enjoy his sister's company but his mind had been occupied otherwise.

He had escorted Claire to her hotel before getting home. Once inside the safety of his own apartment, he poured himself a glass of scotch and swallowed it in one big gulp. He refilled his glass and took it out to the balcony. He sat down in one of his lounge chairs and lit up a cigarette before leaning down on the chair and closing his eyes.

After New Year's Eve, he had seen Mackenzie a few times, they even went out for coffee a couple of times. He thought he was making progress with her but tonight had proven him how wrong he had been: she was dating another man. He knew she wouldn't remain single forever, he had dated a few women over the last two years, but actually seeing her with fucking Wade had really hurt him.

His plan wasn't working. He wanted to, first, be her friend again, gain her trust back. Then, he had planned to take her out for lunch, something really informal. After a few lunches, he would have invited her out for a nice dinner at her favorite restaurant. He would have been the perfect gentleman and she would have fallen in love with him all over again.

_Fuck!_, he thought.

He needed some help to rethink his plan and who better than Sloan to lend a hand. She had confessed him on New Year's Eve that she wanted to discreetly help him because she thought they belonged together. Well, her plan wasn't working either so, maybe, if they combined their efforts they could fix something that worked.

Will finished his cigarette and stubbed it out on the ashtray. He drained his glass and got up to get himself another one. He was in the kitchen filling his glass when his phone rang. He looked at the clock before answering it. It was Manny, his doorman. Who the hell was coming at ten after midnight? Maybe something had happened to his sister.

He quickly walked towards the elevator to wait. When the doors opened, he couldn't believe what he saw. He looked at Mackenzie, storming past him and throwing her purse onto his couch, with his mouth hanging open. He closed it after a few seconds and turned to observe her: she seemed anxious. He decided to wait until she spoke to him. He watched her angrily pace up and down the room, breathing deeply, trying to calm herself. Her hands ran through her hair, messing with it, while he stood next to the couch. She was making him nervous and, seeing that she hadn't any intention to start talking anytime soon, he decided to be brave.

"Are you alright?" Will asked her.

"Shut up." She angrily replied.

He did but, five minutes later, she was still pacing. He was starting to worry so he slowly approached her. His hand found her shoulder and she stopped. Then, when he gently tried to turn her around, she walked away from him and went to stand in front of the balcony's door. He was astonished: why was she there?

"Mac?" He asked again. Her hand was against the door, her eyes staring at the floor. He could see that she was shacking. Will approached her again and gently touched her shoulder. He regretted it the moment he saw her jump. "Mac?" He repeated.

"Don't touch me, please." She told him, her voice barely a whisper.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

"What's wrong?" She said while turning around to face him. "What's wrong?" She repeated, raising her voice. "Everything's wrong! And it's your fucking fault!" She angrily added.

Will took a step back, surprised by her words, but she stepped closer. "You've ruined everything!" She exclaimed, poking his chest with her finger. "It's all your fault!"

He was getting more concerned every second that passed. He wasn't sure about what she was talking about. What had he done? Was she talking about that same night or about what had happened almost three years ago? Was she drunk? He really didn't know. He opened his mouth to say something but she walked pass him. She went to stand in front of one of his living room walls. She stood there for a few seconds while he observed her. Then, out of the blue, she punched the wall as hard as she could. She cried out and leant her back against the wall before sliding down to the floor, cradling her hand against her chest. He quickly went to help her, very concerned, but she raised her good hand to stop him. He could see her eyes filled with tears threatening to fall down her face, he could see how she was bitting her lower lip in an attempt to not cry in front of him. He knew her hand must hurt a lot but he wasn't sure what he could do to help. He knelt in front of her and he gently grabbed her wrist so he could take a look at her hand. She resisted at first but Will didn't let go. He put her palm onto his one. Her knuckles were red and the hand was beginning to swell. He carefully touched her fingers to see if anything was broken but she whimpered in pain at his light touch.

"Mac, I'm not sure, but you could have broken something. I'll take you to the ER." He softly told her.

"No." She stubbornly replied.

"You should have a doctor take a look at your hand, Mackenzie." Will insisted.

"I said no." She firmly told him.

"Will you let me get you some ice to stop the swelling?" He asked but she looked down, avoiding his eyes. "Come on, let's move you to the couch and I'll get some ice for this hand."

Will helped her get up from the floor. She surprised him when she didn't object nor resist. He accompanied her to the couch and helped her sit down. Then, he went to his kitchen and put some ice into a folded dishtowel before walking back to the living room. In his absence, she had kicked off her shoes, had gotten rid of her coat and was sitting with her legs bent on the couch, her arms around the legs holding them in place and her head resting on her knees. He sat next to her on the couch before he carefully took her hand and put the ice on it. She softly whimpered when the cold fabric touched her injured fingers and he quickly apologized. Then, he noticed that she was crying; even with her face hidden on her knees he could still recognize the signs.

"Tell me what happened." Will softly asked.

Mac raised her head from her knees and leant back, resting it on the couch's cushion behind her. She took a deep breath and slowly released the air, trying to slow down her breathing rate while she controlled her sobs. With her eyes closed, she spoke.

"I was having a nice time with Wade. He's funny and charming and good-looking, he treats me well and likes me even if he think's I'm a bit crazy and British. He likes me and I like him. We were having a nice time and, then, you appeared."

"I'm sorry, Claire wanted to say hi. I didn't want to intrude, believe me." Will explained.

"I didn't mind seeing her, I've always liked your sister, but you were there and ruined everything." Mac told him.

"How?" He asked, confused.

"I've been trying to move on. For the last two years, I've been trying to get over you and every time I think I may be able to do it, you appear from nowhere and ruin everything again. You come back with your charm, your smile, your eyes, your fucking blonde hair and looking fucking handsome. And, for a few moments, I forget about everything and I remember why I fell in love with you all those years ago. Then, no fucking man has a change with me because you were fucking perfect and no one is going to ever compare to you; I've set the bar too high and nobody is going to raise to my standards." She paused, breathing deeply. Will remained silent, not sure if she was done or if she would continue. He wasn't sure what to say or what to do after her confession, if he could call it like that.

He looked at her swollen hand and then back at her: her eyes were still closed and tears were falling down her face. Thankfully, she had stopped sobbing the moment she had begun talking but he could see how drained she felt.

"Mac." He said, because it was the only thing that his brain could process.

"So I went home." She continued, ignoring him. "I had spent half the night thinking about you and it wasn't fair, not to me or to Wade. I thanked him for the lovely meal and went home alone. I don't know why, but I grabbed my laptop and opened my inbox. And there, in an unopened folder, were all the emails you've sent me over the past two years, the emails that I've never wanted to read until today. And I read them all." She paused again. "Twice, I read them twice because I couldn't believe what I was reading. I got angry, at you, at myself. I was so angry that I took a fucking taxi to get here. I was going to give you a piece of my mind. I wanted to scream at you. But I came up and saw you, looking all surprised and staring at me with your puppy-eyes, confused by my presence here, and the only thing I wanted to do was punch you. I was fucking angry and you just looked as if you wanted to take care of me, and I got even angrier and my desire to punch you grew bigger and bigger."

"So you punched the wall instead." Will ended the sentence for her.

"Not my finest move." She said, laughing sadly. "It hurts like hell." She finally admitted.

"I'm sure it does." He told her, smiling kindly.

"I should go. I've made an idiot of myself enough for one night." She started to get up but Will gently stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Don't worry about it."

"I have to go now, Will, before I start to cry all over again."

"Let me take you to the ER." He said.

"I'll be fine."

"Then I'll take you home. It's the least I can do." Will continued, ignoring her statement.

"You don't have to." Mac sincerely told him.

"Please?" He pleaded and she nodded.

Will stood up and carefully helped Mackenzie do the same. Then, he gently helped her put on her coat and grabbed her purse before handing it to her. He took his jacket and his wallet and escorted her to the elevator, his hand on her back. They took the elevator to the ground floor and waited in the lobby while Manny, his doorman, hailed them a cab.


	6. Chapter 6

The throbbing pain on her hand woke her up. She groggily opened her eyes and stared at her injured hand: it hadn't been a nightmare, it had really happened. She had stormed like a mad woman into Will's apartment and had punched a wall. _God, I need professional help_, she thought.

Luckily for her, she hadn't completely broken her fingers. Will, once he had convinced her, had taken her to the ER and, after an X-ray and a curious look from the young doctor, they had diagnosed her with an incomplete fracture on the proximal phalanx of her right middle finger. They had immobilized her finger with an splint and buddy finger taping and had sent her home with a prescription for the pain and a recommendation of not punching any more walls. Will had stopped on the way to her apartment to pick up the pain medication and she had taken one in the cab before she got home. He had also made sure she was settled in and comfortable in her own bed. Why was he acting like that? Did he still feel something for her? Because it was what it seemed and that was confusing Mackenzie. She had read his emails and his words had messed with her head. But it had been more than two years ... What the hell was happening between them? She knew she wasn't really over what happened, neither she was over him. But loving him didn't mean she had forgiven or could forgive him.

It was time for her to deal with her feelings, a thing she had been avoiding for the past two years. She needed to finally face what had happened and try to move on, either with him or with another man. But she had to sort everything first.

Looking at the clock, she realized she had slept past her usual wake up time. She got up from her bed and went to the bathroom. After completing her morning routine, she put on her robe over her sleeping clothes and walked, barefoot, to the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Oh My God!" She exclaimed out loud when she saw somebody sitting on her breakfast bar. "What are you doing here?" She yelled.

"Good morning." Will told her, smiling widely.

"You scared the hell out of me, Billy!" Mac exclaimed again. She turned around to look at her living room and she saw his shirt and jacket carefully laid on a chair and his shoes next to her couch. "Did you spend the night here?" She asked him, looking at him a bit confused.

"I was worried. I hope you don't mind." He explained. "I made coffee!" He told her, grinning, trying to change the subject. Will stood up to get her a mug and he filled it while she sat down on the stool next to the one he was using.

He handed her the full mug and reclaimed his seat. "Thanks." She said before taking a sip.

"How's the hand?" He asked.

"It hurts a little bit." She explained but left it there.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both drinking their coffees and staring at nothing in particular, avoiding looking at each other. Finally, Will broke the silence.

"You scared me last night."

"I know. I scared myself too." She confessed. "I'm sorry." She sincerely told him.

"Mac, I ..." He began, but she interrupted him.

"I'm going to call Jack." She said, staring at her mug.

"Ok." He simply replied.

"Are you still seeing him?" She asked, raising her eyes to look at him.

"I am."

"Do you mind?" Mac asked him, a bit concerned; she didn't want to make him feel more uncomfortable. "I can find another therapist."

"I don't mind. He's one of the best and he already knows you. There's no need for you to find another one." Will sincerely told her.

"Ok."

They finished their drinks in silence. The situation was awkward and they both could feel it. Will left his mug on the sink and went to the living room to put on his shoes and his shirt. Once he was ready, he walked back to the kitchen to say goodbye. He kissed Mackenzie's cheek and told her to call him if she needed anything. She just nodded. He smiled kindly at her and left. He was waiting for the elevator when her voice calling his name made him turn around. He walked back to her door and stood in front of her. She surprised him by hugging him tightly.

"Thank you." She murmured against his shoulder.

"You're welcome." He told her.

* * *

He finished the broadcast and took out his earpiece. Once it was clear, he gathered his things and left the studio. He was walking towards his office when he heard commotion behind him.

"Turn off your screens and close your notebooks!" Charlie yelled while Will was turning around to see what the hell was going on. "The enemy's here!" Charlie continued.

It took Will a second to realize that Charlie was joking. There, leaning against the wall next to the door, was Mackenzie. Charlie quickly hugged her tight while the rest of the staff waited to greet her too. It was a miracle Will had managed to keep the same staff for more than two years, he was a tough guy to work with. He had always thought they had stayed because they had been loyal to Mackenzie but, after she had left, most of them had continued working with him. He still wondered why.

Will waited until everyone had left before approaching her. She was quietly talking with Charlie so he used his time to carefully observe her. She looked great, as always, with her always present pencil skirt and her black Louboutins. It had been three weeks since the night of the _accident_ (as he had begun to call it): her hand was still in a splint and it surprised him that she wasn't making any effort to cover it. He stopped just behind her and casually put his hand on her shoulder. Mackenzie turned around and smiled at him. Will leant to kiss her cheek in greeting. Charlie's eyes went from one to the other, confused and amazed at then same time at that public display of affection.

"What are you doing here?" Will asked her, a bit confused by her presence: her show ended at the same time that his. How did she manage to get to ACN so quickly?

"I was hoping we could talk." Mac told him. "Today, they moved my segment to the B-block so I was able to get here in time." She explained, smiling at him and knowing what he was thinking.

"Let me change and we can go to Hang Chew's and have a drink, if that's ok with you." Will said, warily.

"Perfect."

"Go, I'll keep her company until you're back." Charlie ordered him.

He quickly went to his office and changed his clothes, scared that she would change her mind and leave. He got ready in record time and, before they noticed it, he was back in the bullpen.

"That was quick." Charlie mocked him. "I was telling Ms. McHale that I was thinking about kicking you out and give NewsNight to her. She's way prettier than you, it would boost our audience."

"She definitely would." Will replied.

"Thanks, but no thanks." She told them.

"We'll talk in a few months." Charlie told her, knowing her contract with CNN would be up for negotiation after summer.

"Ready?" Mac asked Will, changing the subject.

"Yes."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Will." Charlie said before hugging Mac goodbye. "Don't be a stranger." He told her.

Mackenzie grabbed her purse and jacket and followed Will to the elevators. They rode down in silence, both staring at the doors, don't daring to look at the other. Will helped Mac put on her jacket before leaving the building and, then, they walked side by side to Hang Chew's. Will placed their orders before they looked for a quiet place to sit. They found a booth at the back of the bar and sat down. Their order came a few minutes later and they quietly enjoyed a few sips before Will decided to break the ice.

"How's your hand?" He asked.

"Better. I have an appointment with my doctor next week." She explained.

"Do you want me to go with you? Will sincerely asked.

Mackenzie's face changed the second she had heard his question. "Look, Will ..." She began but he interrupted her.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"I wanted to talk with you because I need to tell you some things. I don't want you to take it the wrong way, I just want you to know how I'm feeling right now so you can explain some things to me." She told him, leaving him silent and stunned. "I've been seeing Jack, and I've been trying to deal with everything that happened, but I need you to clarify a few things before I can move on."

"Move on?" He asked her, apprehensive.

"I need to leave the past behind, I have to deal with everything so I can continue with my life. And I'm trying, I am really trying, but you're confusing me, more than I already am."

"I am confusing you." He repeated, incredulous.

"You are!" Mackenzie exclaimed without thinking. Then, she lowered her voice to continue. "You left me, you broke my heart, but since I've been back you've been the perfect guy: you've been patient, charming, attentive, caring, funny, honest, understanding ... We agreed we'd try to be friends again, and we are, and it's fine. But I'm starting to rely on you too much and you're acting like you've a goal in mind. What are you trying to accomplish, Will?"

"Nothing." He quickly replied, but Mac didn't believe him, he could see it in her eyes. Will drained his glass in one big gulp and left it on the table between them. _Time to be sincere,_ he thought. "I was an idiot and I made the worst mistake of my life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret what I did, that I don't realize what I did lose that day. I know you don't believe me, I know you don't trust me yet but, please, believe me when I tell you that I am still in-"

"Don't." She said, raising her hand to stop him. "Don't say it."

"Why?" Will asked.

"Because I'm not sure if I want to hear it." Mac told him, lowering her eyes.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Mac drank small sips from her drink while Will looked everywhere but at her. It was an awkward situation, the tension between them was palpable. At the other side of the bar, the NewsNight staff was secretly watching them but they weren't doing a great job hiding their interest: Mackenzie could feel their eyes glued to her back. Everything began to overwhelm her. She turned around to grab her purse and coat before she stood up. Will, startled by her sudden movements, got up too.

Mac raised her hands to stop whatever he had been planing to do. "I just need some fresh air." She told him.

Will released the air he didn't know he was holding and sat down again. "Ok." He told her.

"Give me five minutes." She said before leaving, not giving him a chance to say anything more.

He followed her with his eyes and saw her step outside the bar and rummage through her purse. He had to stop for a few seconds when the waitress asked him if they wanted a refill. He quickly nodded and returned his sight to Mackenzie. He saw her pacing up and down the street, close to the door, with a lit cigarette on her hand. He knew she was nervous, and confused, and it was partly his fault. Had he been reading her signals wrong? He was pretty sure she wasn't doing it intentionally but he had interpreted her signals as if she still felt something for him. Sloan had told him, after the night of _the accident_, that Mac hadn't had a serious relationship since they had broken up. She had the theory that it was because Mac was still in love with him. If he couldn't trust what her best friend had told him ... But Sloan could had been wrong too. Was he hoping for the impossible? Was it really over?

Will halted his train of thought when he saw her coming back inside. He quickly picked his freshly refilled glass and took a sip, trying to hide the fact that he had been observing her the whole time. She sat down again and sipped her drink before leaving it on the table and raising her eyes to look at him.

"This wasn't what I had in mind when I told you I wanted to talk." Mackenzie explained. "In my last session, Jack asked me if I'd consider having a joint session with you. I told him I'd think about it."

Will opened his mouth but nothing came out. She had surprised him. "Are you considering it?" He asked once he found his voice again.

"I think so." Mac simply replied.

"I have an appointment Wednesday at ten." Will told her. "Or is it too soon?" He asked her, suddenly hesitant. At that point, he wasn't sure what to think.

"I suppose it's fine." She said.

"I'll call him tomorrow." He replied.

Mac quickly finished her drink and stood up. "I have to go." She told him.

"Ok." Will said. She took out her wallet to pay for the drinks but Will quickly dismissed her. She smiled shyly at him and began to walk.

She suddenly stopped after a few steps and turned around. She saw him looking at her and hesitated for a moment before telling him what was in her mind. "After all this time, after all you've said to me and all you've told me, you never said I'm sorry." Mac sadly told him.

Before he could reply, she left.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **I'm not a psycologist and I've never been in couple's therapy so I didn't really know what I was doing while writing this chapter. I just hope you all like it :)

**EDIT**: I forgot to mention that I used the _Sex & The City Movie_ storyline as an inspiration to write this chapter :)

* * *

_**Session 1**_

Dr. Jacob Habib observed his patient from the door. He was typing something on his laptop and wasn't aware of Jack's presence. Will appeared to be calm, composed, but if you looked at him a bit longer you could see how nervous he really was. It didn't surprise him at all: Will had been trying for months to get Mackenzie back and she had finally decided to meet him halfway. Jack knew that the next few weeks would be emotionally tiring for them. Besides their weekly joint sessions, he planned to meet with them on weekly individual ones to help them process everything.

Jack didn't have the opportunity to make his presence known: just when he was about to say something, Will raised his eyes from the screen and saw him standing there.

"Good morning, Will." Jack told him, his friendly voice present as always.

"How long have you been standing there?" Will suspiciously asked.

"Not long." Jack smiled. "Wanna step inside while we wait for Mackenzie?"

"She's outside." Will said while closing his computer. "I saw her when I came in." He explained after seeing Jack's confused look.

"Why don't you make yourself comfortable while I go get her." The young doctor suggested.

Will nodded before grabbing his things and going inside Jack's office. Jack, on the other hand, opened his front door and took the stairs. When he stepped outside, he saw Mackenzie sitting on the front steps, looking at nothing in particular and with a deep frown showing on her face. He sat down next to her and went to say something, but Mackenzie went ahead.

"I just need a minute." She told him, still looking at the people walking down the street.

"It's alright." Jack assured her.

"Is Will inside?" Mac asked him, looking at him for the first time.

"He is." He simply replied.

"Ok." She said back, taking one last drag of her cigarette before throwing it out.

"These things will kill you some day." Jack mocked her.

"I know." Mackenzie replied.

"Ready?" He asked, after getting up and offering her his hand to help her do the same.

"Would it make a difference if I said no?" She asked him, smiling shyly while readjusting her skirt and suit jacket.

"I'm here to help."

Together, they walked upstairs.

* * *

_**Session 3**_

"What happened the first time you saw each other?" Jack asked them at the beginning of their next session. He already knew Will's side of the story but he wanted to hear her side. He also wanted they to hear what the other felt that day.

His question was left hanging in the room, neither of them rushed to answer. They were sitting in front of him, each in their own armchair. They were tense, very alert, and while Will glanced at her almost every minute, Mac avoided making eye contact with him. Jack directed his sight to Will and encouraged him to go first.

"It surprised me to find Mac at the apartment." Will began.

"That wasn't the first time." Mackenzie quickly interrupted him. Both Jack and Will looked at her, confused. Then, something clicked on Will's mind: of course! The damn party! He had tried to erase that night from his mind.

"It wasn't?" Jack asked them. He had noticed how Will realized it but he wasn't aware of another encounter before the one Will had told him about.

"We saw each other at a party." She explained.

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"I was there with Charlie, Leona and their spouses. We were sitting at our table, chatting, when I saw Mackenzie come in." Will began.

"It was Lionel Matthews retirement party. He's one of my parents' oldest friends and I went as a representative of the McHale family." Mac explained. "I didn't know Will would be there."

"I didn't know you'd be there." Will told her.

"And then?" Jack intervened when they failed to continue.

"When I saw her, I tried to go talk to her but Martha stopped me. She told me to wait and to _casually_ bump into her rather than going straight ahead." Will smiled, remembering Martha's wise advice. Then, he turned to look at Mackenzie with a small frown on his face. "But every time I thought I was near enough, you changed directions and went the other way."

"I was avoiding you." Mackenzie quietly admitted. "Someone told me he was there, and I knew he'd want to talk to me, so I kept an eye on him and tried to be as far as possible." She explained to Jack.

"Why?" Jack asked her.

"Because I wasn't ready."

"Why?" He asked again, knowing that wasn't the real reason.

"I wasn't sure how I would react if I had to talk to him." She told him.

"The whole reason of these sessions is to communicate, to let the other person know how you feel and to be aware what this other person wants and feels." Jack reminded her.

"I'm here, you know? You can use my name." Will intervened, feeling a little left out. Jack sent him a look that made him shut up immediately.

"I was afraid." Mackenzie quietly say, her eyes fixed on her shoes.

"Of what?" Jack kindly asked.

"Of what I've been trying to avoid these last months." She replied, looking at him again. Jack nodded, encouraging her to continue. Then, Mackenzie turned to look at Will. "Of falling right back into his arms."

* * *

_**Session 7**_

"Neither of you fully accept what happened." Jack said, opening a new line of conversation.

"What's there left to accept?" Mac snorted out. "He broke up with me on our wedding day and now, almost three years later, he wants to get back together. I accept that."

"Don't you wonder why?" Jack asked her.

"Of course I do! I've been wondering for three fucking years!" She exclaimed while angrily standing up.

"You left the fucking country before I could talk to you!" Will yelled back. "You never answered my calls or returned my emails. What the hell did you expect me to do? Smoke signals?" He sarcastically told her.

"I expected a fucking signal, Will!" She shouted at him. "I thought that everything was alright! I didn't know you were having doubts! You never told me anything! You could have talked to me! You could have come to see me! You could have done a million things instead of standing me up at the fucking altar!" She finished, breathing hard. She sat back down and rested her elbows on her thighs, hiding her face with her hands. "You could have told me you didn't love me anymore." She whispered.

While Jack took some notes on his ever present notebook, Will sat there, stunned. She hadn't said anything that he hadn't told himself time and time again over the last three years: he knew he did everything wrong, he knew he shouldn't had done what he did, but he couldn't change the past; that was why he was trying to change his future. Slowly, he got up from his seat and took the few steps that separated him from Mackenzie. Jack tried to stop him but he ignored him and knelt in front of her. Carefully, he took her hands between his own. Mac kept her head down, her hair partially covering her face.

Will gently raised her chin and looked directly to her eyes. He saw the few tears that had fallen down her face and his heart broke in half. "Love was never the issue, Mackenzie." He told her, using her full name; a rare occurrence. "I've never stopped loving you."

Mac took a deep breath before she replied. "Then, what the hell happened Billy?" She softly said.

"Will, why don't you sit back down before you begin?" Jack suggested, knowing he couldn't be comfortable kneeling on the floor. Will looked at Mac and, after she nodded, he got up from the floor and returned to his seat next to her.

"Everything went crazy." Will began explaining. "We wanted an small wedding, with our closest family and friends, but after the first TMI article we did our wedding gained some media attention. We hired that wedding planner and he changed everything we had decided on. You seemed happy with all the changes so I went along with it but, deep down, I felt that something wasn't right. I began thinking that that wasn't what I really wanted but I just wanted you to be happy. Then, I felt like a fraud, I had convinced myself that I'd never be good enough for you."

"Oh, Billy." Mac said. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I tried, I swear I tried. I think I just needed you to assure me that everything would be alright, that we were still us and nothing would change that. I tried during the rehearsal dinner but I didn't want to ruin the night." Will continued.

"You called me after the dinner." Mac reminded him.

"I did. I was writing my vows and I couldn't put into words what I was feeling. I had always been us against the world, it was our motto, but that damn piece of paper was still blank. I called you, you noticed that something was odd but you attributed it to wedding nerves and I didn't have the heart to point out it was something more. The next day, I kept thinking that, once I saw you, everything would be fine. But you were late and you weren't answering your phone." He paused to take a deep breath." I began to overthink everything and the sentence _you aren't good enough for her_ kept flashing through my mind. I waited, and waited, until I became so anxious that my first coherent thought was to leave. And I did. But then, ten minutes later, on my way home, I realized what an idiot I was being and I went back. I got out of the car and I ran all the way to find you. Your brother stopped me and told me you'd already left. I tried to explain what happened to him but he didn't let me. He told me to leave you alone, that I had hurt you enough already." He finished, looking ashamed.

His eyes left her for a second to look at Jack, who was sitting there as if he was waiting for something to happen. Mackenzie looked pale, she was still trying to process everything Will had told her.

"Mac?" Will softly called her name.

Out of the blue, Mac stood up, slamming her injured hand on the armrest in the process. "Son of a bitch!" She exclaimed, startling both men.

"Mac?" He asked again.

"Not you!" She said out loud. "My brother! Well, you too." She told Will, pointing at him. "Who stopped you?" She asked Will. "Tom or Alex?"

"It doesn't matter..." Will began but she quickly interrupted him.

"It does!" Mac exclaimed once again. "Who. Did. It." She angrily said, emphasizing every word.

"Alex." Will simple answered.

"I'm taking the first flight to London to kick his fucking ass! I'm going to kill him!"

"No, you won't." Will told her while getting up. He approached her and gently grabbed her hands. "He was only looking out for his little sister."

"Don't you dare to defend him!" Mac told him, breaking free from his grasp.

"Mackenzie. Will." Jack said out loud, knowing they had forgotten he was still in the room with them. "Why don't we calm down?" He told them.

They didn't answer him but they acknowledged his words. They returned to their seats and looked at him. Jack took a moment to observe his patients: Will sat slumped on his seat with his eyes closed while Mackenzie looked nervous, her leg shaking while she kept running her hand through her hair.

"You didn't know any of this." Jack stated, looking at Mac.

"I didn't." She answered.

"Does it change things?" He asked her.

"I don't know. Right now, I can just think about what ifs." Mac sincerely replied. "I'm more confused that I was before we began all this joint counseling crap."

"It's not crap." Will quickly said, surprising them - and even himself -. "It helps."

"I know. I'm sorry." Mac apologized, feeling defeated.

"You can't keep wondering about what ifs, Mackenzie. Neither can you, Will. It happened, you can't change the past. What you have to think about is the future."

* * *

_**Session 9**_

"Are you ready to talk about what brought you here?" Jack asked them at the beginning of another session.

"Isn't than what we have been doing for the past two months?" Will asked back.

"He's talking about what made us decide to come, Billy." Mackenzie told him, slightly annoyed.

"You tried to build me a new window in one of my living room walls. With your fist." He spat.

"Fuck you." She simply replied.

"What's going on here?" Jack asked them. They had been making a lot of progress and he didn't want everything crashing because some stupid argument between them.

"Mark's in town." Mackenzie explained.

"And?" Jack replied, suddenly aware why they were pissed at each other.

"Will thinks I'll jump back into his bed once I see him." Mac said while glaring at Will.

"Why shouldn't she?" Jack asked Will. He raised his hand before Will could say anything. "You two are not in a relationship. She's free to do whatever she wants."

"I'm aware of that. Thank you very much." Will grumpily said.

"So?" Mac questioned him.

"I don't have to like it." He told her.

"Why do you think she'll go back to him?" Jack asked him.

"She's been fucking him for the last two years."

"Excuse me?" Mac exclaimed, outraged. "How is that any of your business?"

"What are we doing here?" Will asked her. "I thought we were trying to fix our relationship." He continued before she could reply. "How can we do that while you are screwing your ex?"

"First, he's never been nothing more than a friend. And second, who told you I was planning to sleep with him?" She angrily told him.

"You aren't?" He asked, suddenly feeling a bit ashamed of himself.

"No!" Mac exclaimed. "He's in town for business! He didn't come expressly to see me!"

"Does that make you feel better, Will?" Jack intervened.

"I suppose."

"Why does it bother you so much that Mackenzie has had a relationship with a man? You haven't been lacking companionship these last two years." The young doctor questioned him. Mackenzie turned on her seat to look at him, expectantly.

"They didn't mean anything. They were nothing serious." Will said.

"Mark's never been anything serious." Mac added.

"Really?" He sarcastically asked.

"We had an arrangement that worked for us. We've never been a couple."

"He's one of your oldest friends. He even came to the wedding." Will pointed out. "Don't tell me he's never been anything serious, Mackenzie."

"You know what?" She told him while getting up. "This isn't working. I should be the one with the trust issues, not you! When we agreed to do this, I knew I'd have to trust you. I knew that I'd have to believe you were telling me the truth and I decided to do it because, as much as it hurts, as difficult as it is, I trust you. Against my better judgement, I trust you. If you can't grant me the same courtesy, I don't know what the fuck are we doing here."

"The hour isn't over." Will said when he saw her gathering her things.

"For me, it is. I'm not in the mood to endure your childish whines today. Think about this because it was you who wanted us to get back together. I'm not going to stand here while you throw all your crap on me. Get your shit together and decide if you're in this for the long run." Once her coat was on, Mackenzie grabbed her purse and turned to look at the young doctor. "Sorry, Jack." After that, she opened the door and left.

Jack sent Will a disapproving glare but didn't say a word. Will, for his part, looked guilty and embarrassed. "I know, I fucked everything up."

* * *

_**Session 10**_

"She's on her way." Will told Jack before the young doctor could say anything. "She didn't give up, she's just late." He said, feeling the need to clarify it.

Jack nodded at him and signaled him to get inside. He left the door open and sat down in his chair, in front of Will.

"I apologized." Will volunteered, surprising Jack. He wasn't someone who liked to talk about him unless if he had to absolutely do it so Jack was curious about the reasons that prompted the man to tell him that.

"You did?" Jack simply asked, letting him carry the conversation.

"Yeah." He nonchalantly said, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. "I sent her some flowers and took her out to dinner."

"You went to a date?" Jack asked, smiling.

"It wasn't a date!" Will quickly replied. "It was an apology dinner between friends."

"If you say so." Jack told him.

"I do say so!" Will exclaimed. "And she will too once she gets here."

"What will I do?" Mackenzie asked, coming through the door. "I'm sorry, I'm late." She said while sitting down.

"I was telling the teenager here that we had dinner together this week." Will explained to her. Then, he had the opportunity to truly look at her and he noticed that something was off. "Did you spill coffee on yourself, again?" He asked, grinning.

"Why?" Mackenzie said, looking down at her blouse. She checked the garment but didn't find any coffee stains, she had gone home to change for a reason. _How the hell..._ "How did you know?"

"You haven't buttoned your shirt very well."

"Shit!" She said, under her breath. Will bursted out laughing but he quickly shut up when Mac glared at him. "Close your eyes, both of you." Once her blouse was refastened, she accommodated herself on her armchair and took a deep breath. "Done." She announced.

Both men opened their eyes and Mackenzie smiled shyly at them. Jack noticed the great mood they were on that morning and decided to ask about it. "You seem to be better this week." He told them.

"I am." Mac replied.

"We are." Will said just after her.

"Will was just telling me about your date." Jack said, well-knowing the reaction he would get. He didn't have to wait for long before they both almost jumped out of their seats.

"I told you..." Will began but Mackenzie's exclamation cut him.

"It wasn't a date!" She told Jack.

Jack saw Mackenzie blushing and Will sending him a murderous look so he decided to stop teasing them and cut to the chase. "You had dinner together." He stated. "Did you talk about last week's session?"

"We did." She simply replied.

"And?" Jack pressed them.

"What do you wanna know?" Will asked him.

"Don't mess with me, Will." Jack sternly said.

"Sorry." Will apologized but both men knew he really didn't mean it. "I apologized for being a prick. I know Mac doesn't owe me anything and that she can go out with whoever she wants, but I'm also trying to do something right here so it hurt to think that she wasn't as invested in this as I am."

"But she is." Jack added.

"I know that now; I didn't a week ago." Will explained. "It brought back painful memories."

"Brian?" Jack asked, to Mackenzie's utterly horror: Brian Brenner was a forbidden subject between them, as well as Nina Howard. They didn't talk about their past bigger fuck-ups, they just didn't.

"Yeah." Will confirmed Jack's suspicions.

"It's a completely different situation." Mackenzie intervened, feeling the need to defend herself.

"I know, I know." Will quickly told her. "But I couldn't help it. We got over it: I forgave you a long time ago and you forgave me for Nina but, in my mind, the two situations were similar."

Silence filled the room after Will's admission. He looked a bit ashamed while Mackenzie seemed a bit defeated. Jack let them gather their thoughts for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Besides last week's session, what more did you two talk about?"

"Politics." Mac said, smiling.

"We argued about the Administration policies." Will continued.

"In a friendly way." Mac added. "And we talked about little Katie."

"Your goddaughter." Jack said.

"Yeah, Sloan's daughter." She clarified. "Will bought her an stuffed jellyfish to mess with me."

"It's adorable!" Will exclaimed.

"It's terrifying!" Mac exclaimed back.

"She loves it." He told her, smiling triumphantly and proud of himself. "We also talked some more about _the day_." Will told Jack, his voice serious again.

"You did?" Jack asked, surprised.

"We did." She replied. "And about what happened afterwards."

"From what I've been seeing today, it went well." He told them.

"It was something we needed to do: we had to close that chapter before moving forward." Mac explained.

"Do you want to move forward, Mackenzie?"

Mackenzie's sight left Jack to look at Will. What she saw reflected in his eyes made her heart melt.

"If you had asked me this same question three months ago I would have told you no but, right now? Maybe."

* * *

_**Between sessions 12 and 13**_

Sloan handed Mackenzie a glass of wine before making herself comfortable on her couch with her own glass. She had to smile: never, in a million years, she would have thought she would ever see her best friend laying on the floor, playing with her daughter. Little Katie was delighted with all the attention she was getting from her aunt and Mac was happy to comply with all her demands.

Mackenzie had to laugh when the nine-months-old baby reached for her wine glass while she was taking a sip. She left the glass on the coffee table and gathered the little girl on her arms.

"Your daughter takes after you. She's not even one and she's already asking for wine." Mac teased Sloan while she lifted herself and the baby onto the couch.

"Shut up." Sloan told her. "Shouldn't you be with Dr. Habib and Will? I thought your couple's counseling was Friday at noon."

"It is not couple's counseling." Mac quickly corrected her friend.

"Call it whatever you want." Sloan replied. "Did something happen?"

"Dr. Habib decided it was time for Will and I to make a decision." She explained.

"A decision?" Sloan asked.

"Yeah, whatever we want to put everything behind us and start again or not and continue being friends." Mac told her. "We agreed to spend the week without any contact between us, to avoid those things that could influence our decision."

"Did you make your decision?" Sloan asked her.

"Not yet." Mac sincerely answered.

"Kenzie." She said, concerned, but Mackenzie didn't say anything more for the next few minutes, she was focused on the girl sitting, half asleep, on her lap, tenderly playing with her hair while Katie snuggled closer to her.

"I'm not sure if I want to try again, Sloan." Mac finally spoke. "Not because I don't love him, there's no point in denying that it, I do love him, but because I don't think I'd survive if he did something like that to me again. I don't know if I want to put myself in that situation again."

"Do you think he'll be stupid enough to make the same mistakes?" Sloan softly asked.

"I don't think so." Mac admitted.

"Then?" Sloan questioned her again.

"My head is a fucking mess." Mac groaned.

"You should make a list."

"Of what?" Mac asked her, her eyebrow raised.

"Pros and cons. I heard say it helps." Sloan warily replied.

"Where?"

"They do it in the movies." Sloan shyly said.

Mac bursted out laughing and Sloan quickly joined her. "Thank you. I needed that." Mac told her friend, still laughing.

"When do you have to decide?" Sloan asked once she had calmed down.

"We decided to meet at the penthouse if we both agree to start again." Mac explained. "Sunday afternoon."

"Well, you still have two days to think about it."

* * *

**A/N: **Two more chapters to go ...


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